Medical Update

Hello dear family,

Sorry for the not keeping ya’ll posted on things, but this has not been a good week.  I have been ill from the chemo earlier this week, but, even more impacting, is the fact that I just seem to have sunk into an almost overbearing sense of depression.  I am hoping that by writing this I can shake some of these cobb webs from my inner-most self.  It’s like a total sense of worthlessness that swallows you up and drags you down.  I try to be upbeat and cast a normal presentation, but, truly, I am “in the weeds” about so much.  Being confused is another issue.  I am just not clear about anything anymore.  I feel like one of those Christmas snow globes that someone has violently shaken and all of the little snow flakes (of my life) are falling randomly everywhere with no direction or organization. Everything I have read about my illness tells me that this is a normal occurrence, but, even with all of my reading, I wasn’t prepared for the impact on me.  I cannot describe it and I would never wish this on anyone.  Robin is busy tending her terminally ill mother and I dare not burden her with these things.  She has enough on her right now.  You all are all that I have right now and I just appreciate you tolerating what I see as my senseless blathering rambling.  As always, I’m sure to shake this.  Maybe next week will be better.

This past week it was chemo on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  I felt like kissing the chemo nurse when she finally unhooked me on Wednesday, but she has a nasty looking tattoo on the back of her neck, so I didn’t.  I finally went back to the office on Thursday after lunch but probably should have stayed home.  Friday I was at work all day but, again, probably should have stayed home.  Mollie is trying to get all of her little things together for college, so yesterday I drove her into Savannah and we picked up a few items she will need.  Mollie was very attentive to my physical limitations and did not try to push me to do more than I should.  I thought that was very considerate.  When I got home I was wound-up to the point that I couldn’t sleep, so I took a sleep-aid last night which, in turn, made me miss Sunday school this morning.  I hate that.  I really like Sunday school.  It’s like a good salad before a good meal.  The worship service doesn’t seem to have as much impact without the prepping I get from Sunday school.  Oh well, I’ll try to do better next Sunday.

I was suppose to return to MD Anderson on July 23rd for another series of tests, but it appears that has changed.  When I checked my appointment schedule on Friday, all of my July appointments were cancelled.  It appears, though, that everything will be rescheduled for another week in August.  Of course, I’m not complaining.  I need a break.  I look forward to the day that I can take a week or two to myself and not have my time revolve around “chemo” or “MD Anderson.”  It seems like such a dream to do just normal stuff.  Maybe in September or October.

I know it was wrong, but today in church I found myself thinking back to a time several years ago, it was during the Christmas holidays, and Linda Gail and Mike were at home.  Peyton and Benton and Adam were ten years old or so.  Daddy was still alive…… and we roasted some oysters under the grapevine behind the house.  I recall it was a bit cold and sort of rainy.  We had a nice fire outside. Mike was suffering from a touch of the flu, or a head-cold, or something.  Benton, as young as he was, even came up with his own butter and garlic sauce for sauteed oysters which, surprisingly, was quite good.  I recall everyone had a good time.  Perry had his new souped-up shortwave radio set up outside and we were listening to some broadcasts from strange far-away places.  I love those memories.  I hope that we can do that again when the weather turns cooler.   Maybe it’s just me, but there is something about cool (or cold) weather and oysters and family that simply go together.

Speaking of oysters, I spend much of my time watching the Food Network when I am at home.  Yesterday one of he male personalities, I can’t think of his name, but it wasn’t Bobby Flay,  was roasting oysters and prepared some fresh cocktail sauce with just a few ingredients.  He squeezed one cup of Ketchup into a bowl, then added a “heaping” tablespoon of prepared horseradish sauce, then a “spash” of worcestershire sauce and a “spash” of hot sauce, flowed by the juice of a freshly squeezed lemon.  He mixed it all up real good and then proceeded to go on and on about how zesty and superior it was to anything you can get in a store.  While I certainly don’t have taste-a-vision, my brain kicked in my salivary glands and I could almost taste those oysters and that tangy sauce.  This  is something I plan on trying next time we have an oyster roast.

Since I am on the subject of cooking, does anyone have Granny Riggins’ recipe for Nut Bar Cake?  It seems that I recall someone had the original hand-written recipe.  I would like to get it if someone doesn’t mind passing it along.

By the way, I have included our first cousin, Sandra Pearce (used to be Sandra Tuten) and her husband, Tom, in this family email.  Although I haven’t seen Sandra or Tom in years, I have developed a close bond.  I accuse Sandra of having a magic wand since she ALWAYS sends me the most interesting and fun emails when I need it the most.   Sandra has so many memories of Granny Riggins and, in her emails, brings back so many strong visual images for me.  And, if not by email, she routinely sends me the most thoughtful and motivating cards through the mail.  She and Tom have been so thoughtful, so helpful, and so giving in so many other ways that I do not have the words to express my appreciation.  The kindness they have shown to me, a person who, before now, has been not much more than a past memory in their life,  has been a true ministry and has done so much to bring me back to the importance of family.  Thank you Sandra and Tom.  Welcome to my family circle and I will never forget what you have done for me.

Well, not much more to talk about.  I have been working on this email, on and off, for a couple of hours.  You know how it is, you get started on a chain of thought and the phone rings, or the cat needs some attention.  I am feeling a bit better, by the way.  Making myself think about all of ya’ll has been very beneficial.  Thanks for being such good therapists ……. send me a bill …….. everyone else does!

One more thing.  We need to remember Aunt Aliene in our prayers.  Mama called this morning and Aunt Aliene is in the hospital in Waycross.  She is not doing well at all.  (Sandra:  Aunt Aliene (Corbitt) is Mama’s oldest sister and is to my Mama’s (Benton) family what your Mama was to the Riggins family).  Aunt Aliene is such a beautiful person.  I’ll never forget recently driving her to a funeral where we had the opportunity to pass by the old Benton homeplace out on Hwy 203, going  toward Alma.  I recall her pointing out to a wooded area way in the back of the field and hearing her talk about the river that was back behind those trees.  She then proceeded to tell me that when we all get to heaven, then return to earth, that we are all going to meet up on that river bank for a fish fry.  She became very excited at the thought and I could tell she was already living it.  Me too.  I’ll be there for sure.   I suspect they will be serving cold iced- tea in those quart-sized mason jars.  Sounds like fun.

I love you.

Mitch